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Questions to Get to Know Yourself

September 28, 2024

Author: Dave Cohen

OtherPsychology

The words “Know Thyself” were inscribed long ago in the Greek Temple of Apollo. I consider those wise words.

The problem is, it’s tricky to really understand yourself. Life is full of twists and turns, we don’t necessarily have the time or willingness to self-reflect. If you’re like me, you also might have a tendency to deny your own wants and needs for the sake of fitting in.

I got to wondering if there was a targeted way to get to know myself. Something less haphazard than reflecting on troubling events, or following some online list of “12 awesome journal prompts.” As a psychology enthusiast, I wondered if I could take some number of psychological tests/quizzes and get a somewhat detailed “picture” of who I am.

I had taken a handful of personality tests throughout the years and found the results to be helpful to learn about myself and others. So, I set out to answer:

  1. “Is taking psychological tests effective for gaining self-knowledge?”
  2. “Which tests are the best at helping me learn about myself?”

After many many hours of taking online tests, comparing their effectiveness, and reflecting from lots of different angles, I was satisfied. The results are informative in themselves; and if you do some reflective work, a bigger “picture” will emerge.

So, let’s get to it. This post contains my curated list of internet questionnaires, my own lists of questions, and lots of suggestions to help you put the pieces together.

The process

  1. Answer a bunch of questions. Pick and choose which area(s) to spend more time on, or make it a goal to cover all the areas.
  2. Reflect on the answers. I’ll go into detail in the final sections on how to get the most out of your answers.

Warning: Having the support of a mental health professional is recommended, especially for tests that explore emotions, trauma, and other sensitive topics.

Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only. There’s no guarantee of scientific or other validity from any of these tests.

Suggestions:

  • For all tests, store all the text from online results (copying or PDF), links to the tests/results, any questions that were difficult to answer, and other info in your personal notes collection. (See my post on Building a Second Brain)
  • Write down your answers to questions, your reflections on test results, and all other related thoughts in a way that you can review and collect highlights later.

Browsing Safely:

  • Use or create a permanent “spam” email address or a temporary email address for the websites that require email.
  • Use ad-blocker(s).
  • Have the Chrome browser available. Unfortunately, at least one online test didn’t work in Firefox.

The areas of self

The categories of “self” I’ve chosen are drawn from multiple sources:

  • The 10 areas of the Wheel of Life (we’ll go into detail in the Initial Self Inventory section)
  • Personality Tests
  • Strengths and Weaknesses
  • Play, Politics, Art, Career, and Finance
  • The 5 areas of SPIRE: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional. (From Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s book Happier, No Matter What)

Contents

Initial Self Inventory

This first section will get you thinking about the many aspects of your life including some psychological assessments of your satisfaction with life.

Starting to get to know you

1. Write down what you know about yourself.

This could be a stream of consciousness - no particular order or deep effort is necessary. Any topic or source of questions is fine.

Answer any/all of the following questions:

  • Likes and dislikes: food, music, movies, games, etc
  • What forms of exercise or sports do you enjoy?
  • Goals and hopes for the future: what have you been working towards - what motivates you to work on that?
  • What’s a happy memory from childhood/adulthood? Troubled memories?
  • Do you have weird dreams?
  • What makes you angry / what gets on your nerves?
  • Do you have a sense of humor? What’s it like?
  • Who’s your best friend? What do you admire about them?
  • How would your coworkers or colleagues describe you?
  • Are you introverted or extroverted? Do you enjoy being alone?
  • What are your political leanings?
  • What are your spiritual beliefs?
  • What’s your astrological sign?
  • What are your strengths and weaknesses? What academic subjects do you enjoy and which do you dislike?
  • Family - wealth, encouragement. Neighbors and community. Societal beliefs of the day.
  • Depending on how old you are: How have you changed since you were a child, teenager, early adult, late 20’s, early 30’s, etc

2. Based on the above, write a profile about yourself.

Pretend that you’re writing an advertisement to make new friends. Given your interests, What kind of person are you? Do you attempt to categorize yourself? Do you see conflicting traits? Are you straightforward or a complex being?

3. Keep your answers available to reference later.

After answering any questions below, check your answers against this list. Did you learn something new (plot twist!)? Did you disagree with anything - did something seem accurate or inaccurate? Did the result seem so generic it could apply to anyone?

In the final section of this post, I will suggest doing this referencing (what I call cross-analysis) between all the sets of questions.

Satisfaction with life and the Wheel of Life

Both of the following assessments are provided by https://positivepsychology.com/life-satisfaction-scales/

1. Satisfaction With Life Scale (SWLS)

Are you satisfied with life or is there room for improvement? This short, 5 question assessment as described by positivepsychology.com:

has been developed to help you get a sense of your satisfaction with your life as a whole. Although the questionnaire doesn’t measure individual components, it can be an excellent starting point, encouraging deeper thought and exploration of the specific areas of life that may be causing you a sense of dissatisfaction.

The 5 questions and how to interpret them are available here: https://positivepsychology.com/life-satisfaction-scales/

2. Wheel of Life

Once you have your score from the SWLS, you can then begin to reflect more fully on where you might like to make changes to build a greater sense of life satisfaction.

This tool will help you do that, as it requires that you identify the different life domains that are important to you - such as career, family, and relationships - and to then give each of these individual domains a rating from 1 to 10, with 1 being “not at all satisfied” and 10 being “completely satisfied.”

Interpreting these:

  • Once you have your SWLS score and you’ve evaluated each life area, you can choose to spend more or less time and effort on the question sets below related to those life areas. This is just the beginning!

Personality Tests

These tests provide starting places to help you begin to define this broad thing known as your “personality.” Psychologists have attempted to determine which traits best define us and are most stable throughout our lives. The tests below can provide valuable insights into our selves, some of the benefits including:

  • Understanding our strengths and weaknesses which can help you choose a career path
  • Highlighting traits that may cause imbalances. For example: do you tend to prioritize the needs of others over your own?

  • Relate better to others:

    • Recognize your communication style(s) to enhance relationships
    • Have insights into others’ personalities
  • Make life decisions that align better with your values and preferences

Read more on Personality Psychology - Wikipedia

General: Big 5 and Myers-Briggs

1. The Big 5 (OCEAN) Personality Test

This test is well-regarded in terms of scientific validity. It evaluates

five broad dimensions: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. These traits might influence how individuals behave in social situations, with extraversion and agreeableness affecting sociability and cooperativeness, while conscientiousness relates to organization and reliability. Unlike the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which categorizes personality into distinct types, the Big Five traits offer a spectrum of characteristics that can help explain tendencies such as mood swings and varying responses to different social and environmental contexts.

— Source: betterhelp.com

Big 5 Personality Test Overview - mindbodygreen.com

Image Credit: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/big-5-personality-traits-psychology-and-research-behind-test

Interpreting your results:

  • “I thought I was more/less introverted” - take this extroversion/introversion test from psychologytoday.com and compare your results.
  • “I don’t like one or more of my traits” - this is normal. Consult a mental health professional to explore your results. You can read more and take related tests deepen your understanding.

Take the Big 5 Personality Test - truity.com

Learn more:

2. Myers-Briggs

One of the most well-known personality tests, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator proposes 16 personality types, each associated with an arrangement of 4 letters:

  • I/E - introvert/extrovert
  • N/S - intuitive/sensing
  • T/F - thinking/feeling
  • J/P - judging/perceiving

Example personality types include “The Architect” (INTJ), “The Campaigner” (ENFP), and “The Adventurer” (ISFP)

While criticized as inaccurate and characterized as pseudoscience, it’s a fun test to take and compare with friends.

Interpreting your results:

  • “I’m in the middle - what does it mean?” - If you’re half “J” and half “P”, for instance, that might be an area of conflict or you may be very flexible depending on the situation. It’s a good opportunity for reflection.

Motivations: Color Mode and Enneagram

These tests attempt to show your personality through the lens of your motivations.

If you like these questions, you may also like the motivation questions in the Emotional Self section.

1. Color Mode

This test posits that there are four personality types categorized by colors.

From https://taylorhartman.com/assessment-information/:

Unlike other personality profiles, The Color Code not only identifies what you do but why you do it, allowing you to gain much deeper and more useful insights into what makes you and those around you tick. The Color Code Personality Profile is unique for several reasons. First, it goes deeper than mere personality - it identifies Motive - why you do what you do.

The Colors:

  • Red - Power - results and productivity. They bring great gifts of vision and leadership. Reds are generally characterized as responsible, decisive, proactive and assertive.
  • Blue - Intimacy, connecting, creating quality relationships and having a purpose is what drives these people. Their natural gifts include quality and service. Blues can be counted on to be loyal, sincere, and thoughtful.
  • White - Peace, or the absence of conflict, is what motivates a White. Clarity and tolerance are White gifts. Whites are also known for their qualities of kindness, adaptability, and patience.
  • Yellow - Fun - The joy of living in the moment and doing something just for the sake of doing it is the driving force for these people. Yellows offer the gifts of enthusiasm and optimism. They are generally charismatic, spontaneous, and sociable.

Hartman Color Code Personality Test - colorcode.com

Image credit: <https://www.colorcode.com/media/cc/img/enhancedchartwithoutnumbers.png>_

Caveat: Doesn’t have scientific backing. Entertainment purposes only.

Take the test at mypersonalitystyle.com or colorcode.com

Interpreting your results:

  • “I could fit more than one of these. Maybe even all of them.” Consider yourself multi-colored. Rank yourself and reflect on the circumstances each color would arise. For example, maybe you’re mostly blue and white, yellow coming third, and red coming fourth.

2. Enneagram

Enneagram of Personality - Wikipedia

According to the authors of this popular assessment, there are 9 personality types. Each type has a set of positive and negative motivations - specifically ego fixations, holy ideas, passions, and virtues. To give you an idea, the first 3 are:

  1. The Reformer - seeks integrity and fears being corrupt or defective.
  2. The Helper - seeks love and fears being unloved or unwanted.
  3. The Achiever - seeks value and fears being worthless.

Take the quiz at gyfted.me.

Caveat: Doesn’t have scientific backing. Entertainment purposes only.

Fun: Sense of Humor and Play

1. Sense of Humor

The situations in which you try to make jokes and your style of humor can tell you many things about yourself. The 4 social functions include:

  1. Affiliative: Bonding with others
  2. Self-enhancement: Feel better about oneself
  3. Aggressive: Deliver a harsh or controversial message
  4. Self-defeating: Getting others to like you

The Quiz: What Is Your Sense of Humor? In 10 Types of Humor - Quiz Expo will help you determine the above and your humor type/style: Slapstick, Deadpan, Self-deprecating, Potty, Topical & Satrical, Irony, Parody, Dark, or Surreal.

2. Your Play Personality

Pioneered by Dr Stuart Brown, the Play Personalities test can help you determine your “play style.” How did you interact with the world when you were a child? What modes of play naturally bring you joy and excitement? Are you a Joker, Kinesthetic, Explorer, Competitor, Director, Collector, Storyteller, and/or Creator?

Knowing your play style(s) as an adult is useful - more than you may realize. Ali Abdaal, in his book Feel Good Productivity, makes this suggestion when confronted with a daunting or unappealing task:

Try asking yourself “What this would look like if it were fun?”

Interpreting your results:

  • I recommend taking the quiz twice - once to find your dominant play personality and a second time to notice other areas of interest. Make a ranked list of all the personalities. It’s definitely possible to have more than one play personality.

Everything Else: Divination and Just for fun

1. Divination: While they have no scientific backing, these ancient personality profiles are popular and fun to think about.

2. Just for fun

Strengths and Weaknesses

When we know our strengths and understand our shortcomings, it can really help us choose a suitable career, amongst other things:

The process of identifying and utilizing your strengths in everyday life has been linked to an elevated sense of vitality and motivation, increased probability of achieving goals, and a stronger sense of life direction. It has also been linked to higher self-confidence, engagement, and productivity.

— Personal Strengths Defined - positivepsychology.com

1. Free assessments are available in PDF form in the link above as well as:

VIA:

DISC: https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/ODAT/ - “is an acronym that stands for the four main personality profiles described in the DiSC model: (D)ominance, (i)nfluence, (S)teadiness and (C)onscientiousness.” — https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc

Career-oriented Strengths and Weaknesses:

Others:

Tips for interpreting results (recommended by high5test.com):

  • Strengths 1-5: These are your most powerful strengths. Focus on these for professional success and personal happiness.
  • Strengths 6-10: Leverage these strengths as needed.
  • Strengths 11-15: These traits don’t come as naturally to you but you can learn to navigate situations by involving your top strengths.
  • Strengths 16-20: You aren’t as strong in these areas, but you can delegate. Find a partner or teammate to help in these areas.

2. DIY approach:

Read Personal Strengths Defined - positivepsychology.com in depth. Reflect on the list of traits and rank each one on a scale from 1 to 5. Remember:

With personal strengths comes the balance of personal weaknesses, and the same is true with mental strength. If not practiced in alignment with personal strengths or without purpose, mental strength may change into its negative counterpart:

  • Adaptability can become fickleness.
  • Endurance may lead to martyrdom or victimization.
  • Steadfastness can turn to inflexibility.
  • Dependability can become predictability.
  • Effectiveness may lead to laziness or taking shortcuts.

Being aware of this can help you to adjust where you notice an imbalance. Just as you might go to the gym to build physical muscle and give up bad habits to meet personal fitness goals, you can develop better mental strength through the right mix of behaviors and thoughts.

— Personal Strengths Defined - positivepsychology.com

Working Self - Career Fit

What jobs and gigs would suit you?

What jobs would suit you? selectsmart.com 200 jobs ranked based on your answers. See all the Job descriptions - selectsmart.com

What gigs would suit you? selectsmart.com Dozens of gigs ranked based on your answers. See all the Gig descriptions - selectsmart.com

Career Personality Profiles

Note: if you like this section, you may also like the Intellectual Self questions.

Career and College Major Quiz - connectionsacademy.com Based on the Holland Code career test, provides questions to evaluate which career personality profile you fit. This can help you determine academic areas of study.

Similar to the above, the Persona Quiz from anderson.edu will rank you along these profiles: The Innovator, The Storyteller, The Influencer, The Investigator, The Caregiver, The Mentor, The Advocate, and The Game-Changer

Financial - Money Personality

What’s your money personality? Do you love making money and/or spending money? Do you loathe having to deal with it? What childhood experiences contribute to your views on money?

* Money personality quiz - empower.me - Determines which of the 6 money personalities you are as well as giving you examples reasons from childhood why you might have those tendencies:

* Note: Didn’t work in the Firefox browser for me. Works in Chrome. Zoom out to see all questions - there was an issue of things hanging off the screen

Money beliefs quiz - nerdwallet.com - This quiz ranks you on all 4 of the belief types: Worship, Avoidance, Vigilance and Status.

Money personality quiz - sorted.org.nz - Which money personality are you?

  • The Contemporary - Living and spending in the now
  • The Enterpriser - Calculated and clear about your financial future
  • The Minimalist - Reserved, saving for long term
  • The Realist - Cautiously saving a surplus
  • The Socialite - Fun-focused and generous with others

Political Self

Where do you stand on political issues? What role should government play in maintaining societal order and economic restrictions? Some of these questions may be difficult to answer, but they’re worthwhile to reflect on.

If you’re like me, there will be more than a few questions that challenge you. For instance, where do you stand on compulsory education? Or:

  • Thinking about increased trade of goods and services between the U.S. and other nations in recent decades, would you say that the U.S. has… gained or lost?
  • Overall, would you say people who are convicted of crimes in this country serve… too much / too little / the right amount of time in prison

Out of the handful of political tests I took, mapmypolitics.org is the most comprehensive. The first mapping it provides is where you stand on the spectrums of economic equality and social freedom. All the political profiles are represented in this (crude version of their) 2-dimensional grid:
Communist Fascist Paleoconservative
State Socialist Populist Neoconservative Paleolibertarian
Democratic Socialist Liberal Centrist Conservative Neoliberal
Libertarian Socialist Social Libertarian Libertarian Minarchist
Utopian Socialist Anarchist Anarcho-Capitalist
  • From left to right: economic equality (most to least)
  • From bottom to top: social freedom (most to least)

To orient you and give you an idea what your result could be:

The quiz also determines where you stand on military, environmental, and deficit (debt spending) issues.

Two other helpful tests:

Spiritual Self

Initial spiritual questions

  • What’s your relationship to religion/spirituality?
  • What’s your immediate family’s relationship to religion/spirituality?
  • What are your thoughts on God - is there a God, higher being, divine creator?
  • Have you studied multiple other religions and religious paradigms? Where do you stand on pagan, monotheistic, Eastern (Buddhism, Taoism, etc), pantheism, etc?
  • Can/does science and spirituality work together?

Evaluate your spiritual practices:

  1. How often do you practice gratitude? Gratitude Quiz | Greater Good
  2. How often do you meditate, practice mindfulness, recite mantras/affirmations? Mindfulness Quiz | Greater Good
  3. How often do you read spiritual texts?
  4. How often do you participate in spiritual communities?
  5. How often do you consider your spiritual beliefs when making decisions?
  6. How often do you practice compassion and empathy?
  7. Is your life generally meaningful? Do you search for meaning and purpose?
  8. How often do you connect with nature or the universe?
  9. How often do you practice rituals (including prayer, use of spiritual objects like crystals, tarot cards, etc)?
  10. How often do you donate to or volunteer to help those in need?

Religions - What religions align with your beliefs?

Spiritual Belief System Selector A Religion Selector Quiz | Selectsmart.com provides a ~30-item list of religions ranked by their percentage match to your beliefs. Read about the religions in their list: Religion/Belief system descriptions | Selectsmart.com

Other Questions

Physical Self

Initial physical questions

Overall Health

Surface: Interests and Objects

Questions about things external to you that help define your personality and social perception:

For fun

Read more

Artistic Pursuits

Initial artistic questions

  • Do you enjoy art? Which artists, filmmakers, musicians, etc?
  • What artistic styles? Abstract, surrealism, impressionism, etc
  • What musical genres? Rock, pop, folk, blues, jazz, classical, etc
  • Are you an artist? What forms of art do you enjoy?

Quizzes

What musical instrument would suit you?

List of Art forms

Below is a list to reflect on. Which art forms would be interesting to try? What have you tried but didn’t like?

Visual Arts

  • Painting: Experiment with different mediums such as acrylics, watercolors, or oils.
  • Drawing: Focus on sketching, figure drawing, or digital art.
  • Sculpting: Work with materials like clay, stone, or metal to create three-dimensional art.
  • Photography: Capture the world through a lens, exploring different styles like portrait, landscape, or street photography.
  • Printmaking: Engage in techniques like linocut, etching, or screen printing.
  • Crafting: Explore various crafts such as sewing, knitting, or woodworking.

Performing Arts

  • Dancing: Try different styles like ballet, hip-hop, salsa, or contemporary dance.
  • Acting: Join a local theater group or take acting classes to develop your performance skills.
  • Music: Learn to play an instrument, sing, or compose music.

Literary Arts

  • Writing: Explore creative writing, poetry, or blogging as a way to express your thoughts and stories.
  • Storytelling: Engage in oral storytelling or scriptwriting for plays and films.

Culinary Arts

  • Cooking: Experiment with different cuisines and cooking techniques, or take cooking classes.
  • Baking: Focus on pastries, bread, or cake decorating as a creative outlet.

Filmmaking

  • Narrative: Feature films, short films, TV series
  • Documentary
  • Experimental: Avant-garde, abstract, video art
  • Animation: 2D, 3D, stop-motion. Traditional hand-drawn or computer-generated.
  • Music videos
  • Web-based Filmmaking: Vlogs, Web Series, Interactive Films

Other Creative Pursuits

  • Gardening: Design and cultivate your own garden, combining aesthetics with nature.
  • Fashion Design: Create your own clothing or accessories, exploring textiles and styles.
  • Interior Design: Work on decorating and designing spaces to reflect personal style.
  • Digital Art: Use software to create illustrations, animations, or graphic designs.
  • Podcasting

Sources (provided by perplexity.ai):

Intellectual Self

Initial intellectual questions

  • What do you enjoy learning and thinking about?
  • What academic subjects do you enjoy and which do you dislike?
  • Which intellectuals do you admire? Given your favorite areas of study, who are your favorite thinkers in those areas?
  • Intelligence is considered highly inheritable. How does your overall intelligence and talents compare to your parents?

IQ and Types of Intelligences

Learning Styles

  1. The three-mode (VAK) theory posits that we can be predominantly visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learners. What’s Your Learning Style? - EducationPlanner provides a ranked assessment of the 3 learning styles.

  2. Is 3 not enough? Here you can evaluate yourself along seven learning styles: 7 Types of Learning Styles and How To Teach Them - Teachable

  3. Contrasting to the above, this four-spectrum theory is similar to the Big 5 personality test: Felder-Silverman Index of Learning Styles Questionnaire. In it, you’re assessed across these learning style areas:

    • Active ⟺ Reflective
    • Sensing ⟺ Intuitive
    • Visual ⟺ Verbal
    • Sequential ⟺ Global

Cognitive Styles

  1. Cognitive Styles Quiz - gyfted.me - Are you analytical or relational? Practical or experimental? Along those two dimensions, you can be one of four types:

    • Analytical and Practical: Implementer
    • Analytical and Experimental: Innovator
    • Relational and Practical: Balancer
    • Relational and Experimental: Visionary

  2. NLP Preferred Representational Systems Test - excellenceassured.com - Similar to VAK learning styles, Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) theorizes that we encode our “representation” of our senses in the ways outlined in Modalities and Representational Systems

Other tests in this post you might like:

  • Strengths and Weaknesses
  • Career
  • Spiritual
  • Relationships

Relationships and Self

Initial relationships questions

  • General Feelings About Relationships

    • How do I generally feel about being around other people?
    • Do you consider yourself a social person? How difficult is it for you to make friends?
    • Do I feel comfortable in social situations? If not, why?
    • What do I value most in a relationship?
    • What are my expectations of others in a relationship?
    • Do I feel like I have a strong support system?
    • What are my attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant)?
    • How do you communicate with others?
    • How close are you with your family?
    • How do you approach friendships?
    • How are you in close relationships?
    • How do I handle conflict in relationships?
    • (also see the earlier “Sense of Humor” section)

  • Past Relationships

    • How have past relationships shaped my view of relationships?
    • What did I learn from previous relationships?
    • Are there any recurring patterns in my relationships?
    • What role does trust play in my relationships?

  • Current Relationships

    • How satisfied am I with my current relationships?
    • Do I feel emotionally connected to the people in my life?
    • How do I balance my needs with the needs of others?
    • Do I feel like I am giving and receiving emotional support?

  • Personal Needs and Boundaries

    • What are my emotional needs in a relationship?
    • What are my personal boundaries?
    • Do I feel comfortable asserting my needs and boundaries?
    • How do I handle it when my boundaries are crossed?

  • Deeper Reflection

    • What are my fears about relationships?
    • What are my hopes and dreams for relationships?
    • How do I define intimacy?
    • What role does love play in my life?

Attachment Style

Having the support of a mental health professional is recommended if you’re exploring this area.

Learn about attachment theory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory

Love Language / Styles

Communication Styles

Other tests in this post you might like:

  • Spiritual
  • Emotional

Emotional Self

Check in with yourself

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Take the EQ Emotional Intelligence Test | Truity to find out how you score out of 100 for each of these emotional traits: Self-awareness, Other-awareness, Emotional Control, Empathy, Wellbeing

Motivation

Having the support of a mental health professional is recommended if you’re exploring this area.

The Motivation Assessment Scale - gyfted.me - What drives you? This test offers insights into what fuels your ambitions and goals. It measures you along these spectrums:

  • Growth: Advancement ⟺ Mastery
  • Purpose: Mission-driven ⟺ Task-driven
  • Money: Reward-driven ⟺ Security-driven
  • People: Team player ⟺ Independence
  • Flexibility: Adaptability ⟺ Stability
  • Self presentation: Recognition ⟺ Influence

Your Shadow

Learn more about Shadow (psychology) - Wikipedia

What is Your Biggest Fear? Free Psychological Test - LonerWolf

This Test Will Reveal What Your Subconscious Mind is Hiding - LonerWolf - Your subconscious mind houses tons of material - memories, skills, feelings, ideas, and more. Usefully, it carries out actions on autopilot and helps us make decisions. On the “dark” side, it also holds unresolved feelings and suppressed desires that we don’t necessarily want to face. This test helps expose these harder-to-access qualities.

Szondi Test - LonerWolf. Developed by Hungarian psychiatrist Leopold Szondi in 1935, this test operates on the principle that we’re repulsed by what we repress. Choose a photo to reveal your hidden psychological drives.

Tony Robbins on 6 Human Needs and Motivation

6 human needs: why are they so important? | Tony Robbins

What are the 6 human needs?

  • Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
  • Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
  • Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
  • Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
  • Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
  • Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others

What motivates you to succeed in life? | Tony Robbins | Tony Robbins

Intrinsic Motivation:

  • Contribution - The desire to volunteer and give back can be deeply fulfilling.
  • Growth - mastering skills, acquiring new skills, having a high impact in career.

Extrinsic Motivation:

  • Money - acquiring things can bring us temporary satisfaction.
  • Praise - some of us crave praise and recognition in order to feel significant.

“The Four Desires Driving All Human Behavior” - Bertrand Russell

According to Maria Popova’s post on The Four Desires Driving All Human Behavior: Bertrand Russell’s Magnificent Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech - The Marginalian

  • There are four primary, insatiable human desires:

    • The desire for acquiring objects (things)
    • Rivalry with others
    • Vanity - fame, recognition
    • Power - wanting to dominate or win
  • There’s a secondary desire, to have excitement in whatever form

Silent Assumptions - Core emotional beliefs

Having the support of a mental health professional is recommended if you’re exploring this area.

In Chapter 10 of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David M. Burns, the author points to Silent assumptions as “The Cause of it All”.

Silent assumptions are our below-conscious determinations of personal worth and value system definitions. They manifest as patterns that drive our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. These assumptions can be based on negative themes such as perfectionism, entitlement, omnipotence, or autonomy.

The goal of the quiz (an abbreviated Dysfunctional Attitude Scale) is to expose these assumptions. We can then undergo the author’s suggested cognitive therapy process by examining the results and replacing the irrational thoughts with rational ones.

Trauma and Neglect

Having the support of a mental health professional is recommended if you’re exploring this area.

The ACE Quiz, and what it does and doesn’t mean - npr.org - The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) inventory is a widely used psychological assessment tool that measures exposure to traumatic experiences during childhood. It asks 10 direct questions to assess your trauma.

Free Online Childhood Emotional Neglect Test & Screening - onlinetherapymantra.com - The Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) assessment is a psychological tools used to evaluate experiences of emotional neglect during childhood.

Other tests in this post you might like:

  • Spiritual
  • Intellectual
  • Relationships

Reflection: Cross-Analysis, Ikigai, Values

Cross-Analysis - comparing answers across sections

Now that you’ve gone through some or all of the question sets, I suggest combining insights with a process I call cross-analysis. This is where you ask how one result informs another to expand your understanding and deepen the meaning of the results.

  1. Determine the areas that you made notable discoveries and/or want to focus on.
  2. Write about what those discoveries meant to you and how they could apply to various situations. Incorporate as many life areas as you like.

  3. For even more insights, systematically go through each pair of question sets. A few examples:

    • “My play personality is Creator and I also have a cognitive style of Innovator. How does one inform the other? Could I approach what I create analytically? Would I benefit from doing more experimentation? How could I benefit from being more practical and personable (my supposed cognitive weaknesses)?”
    • “Given my low scores on physical health and tendency to be work-centered and risk-averse, how can I motivate myself given my strengths to exercise in a way that works for me?”

Some questions for overall reflection:

  • Compare each response to your original answers (as suggested earlier).
  • Can you trace each response back to childhood or even a genetic component? How does it further exemplify your personality?
  • What do you approach, what do you avoid? (look at this neutrally)
  • How do your strengths benefit you? (for self-esteem building and goal-setting)
  • Which weaknesses are causing you detriment? (helps you identify areas you might want to account for)
  • What can you change in order to improve your life?

Ikigai - Finding Life Purpose

Ikigai is a Japanese concept that translates to “a reason for being.” It’s the idea of finding one’s purpose in life and aligning it with one’s passions, skills, and values. The Japanese believe finding and pursuing your ikigai is the key to a long and happy life.

— 7 Japanese Concepts That Can Improve Your Life | The Art of Manliness

For our purposes, we’re using Ikigai as a way to continue cross-analysis. There are four areas that you might be better prepared to reflect on after answering some of the above questions:

  • what you love
  • what you’re good at
  • what the world needs
  • what you can be paid for

The intersection of adjacent areas reveals 4 ways of approaching work and life:

  • Mission - love + world needs
  • Passion - love + good at
  • Profession - good at + paid
  • Vocation - paid + world needs

— Ikigai - sloww.co

Determining and Living By Values

This final section is where we take our newfound self-knowledge and use it to determine and fine tune our values.

  • Identify Core Values: Reflect on personal beliefs, standards, and important qualities.
  • Define Goals: Set goals that align with your values, ensuring actions are meaningful and fulfilling.
  • Use Values as a Decision-Making Compass: Align your actions with your values to provide clarity and reduce self-doubt.
  • Increase Self-Awareness: Regularly assess how your daily actions align with your values to understand your priorities and behaviors.
  • Reflect and Adjust: Evaluate your daily actions and decisions to ensure they align with your values.
  • Be Consistent and Adapt: Regularly review and adjust your values to stay true to yourself.

The benefits of doing so are enormous - I encourage you to read more below.

Sources (provided by perplexity.ai):

Values and the Wheel of Life

We began with evaluating ourselves using the Wheel of Life. The following questions can help you align the goals you have in each life area with your values.

  • Begin reading each phrase with “I value…”
  • Rate how important each statement is to you on a scale of 1 (Not Important) to 5 (Very Important).

Health

  1. feeling physically strong and energetic
  2. healthy eating habits
  3. maintaining a good work-life balance for my well-being
  4. getting enough sleep and rest
  5. prioritizing taking care of my mental health

Personal Development

  1. constantly learning and growing as a person
  2. challenging myself and stepping outside my comfort zone
  3. being open to new experiences
  4. personal growth over material possessions
  5. setting goals and working towards achieving them

Career

  1. feeling passionate about my work
  2. making a positive impact through my career
  3. having a good work-life balance in my job
  4. financial security and stability in my career
  5. continuous learning and development opportunities in my work

Financial

  1. financial independence and security
  2. being responsible with money
  3. achieving financial goals like saving for retirement
  4. the belief that money should be used to support the things I value most
  5. living a simple life more than accumulating wealth

Romantic

  1. having a loving and supportive partner
  2. Honesty and open communication are essential in a romantic relationship
  3. shared interests and goals with a romantic partner
  4. emotional intimacy and connection
  5. having fun and enjoying experiences with a romantic partner

Friends

  1. having close and supportive friends
  2. loyalty and trust in my friendships
  3. spending quality time with friends
  4. having friends who share my interests and values
  5. being a good friend and supporting others

Family

  1. having strong and healthy family relationships
  2. spending time with my family
  3. traditions and shared history with my family
  4. supporting my family, even when it requires sacrifice
  5. open communication and honesty within my family

Quality of Life

  1. having time for leisure and relaxation
  2. living in a safe and healthy environment
  3. giving back to my community and making a difference
  4. having a sense of adventure and exploration
  5. maintaining a healthy work-life balance

Spiritual

  1. having a sense of purpose or meaning in life
  2. feeling connected to something larger than myself
  3. exploring different spiritual beliefs and practices
  4. maintaining inner peace and mindfulness
  5. living a life guided by my values and principles

Values Reflection

By reflecting on your values, you can gain a better understanding of what truly matters to you and use this information to make decisions that align with your core beliefs.

  • Are there any areas where your values are very strong?
  • Are there any areas where your values are less clear?
  • Are there any surprises in your responses?
  • How do your values in different areas connect with each other?

Conclusion

There you have it - a broad set of questions, methods for reflection, and lots to explore further.

I hope it’s been helpful in understanding yourself better; perhaps giving you a renewed sense of purpose or extra perspective to help set your life goals.

Suggestions going forward:

  • Experiment - Did you get valuable insights from these tests? Are there life experiments you can design to put your insights into practice?
  • Create your own personalized reflection prompts to delve even deeper into your self-understanding. (See my post on Using question-prompter for study, self-reflection, and more)
  • You can get to know people better - Encourage others you know to take some of the tests you found the most interesting. Use what you learned about yourself as an opportunity to get to know people better.

Things to remember:

  • Because the field changes and we change, it’s good to periodically redo the whole process that this post outlines.

    • The ways of measuring traits is constantly evolving - Check for updates to these tests.

Have a suggestion or a question? Share your thoughts with me.

Keep up the momentum, keep reflecting!

Other Resources